Walking in the Rain
It is 0522 in
The exact moment, at which the rainfall began, I cannot ascertain. All I can say is that it started somewhat prior to or at 0500 hours. I awoke at 0506 hours with the sound of rain falling on my tiled roof. There was a bit of it falling on me too, but that’s because the roof leaks a bit. I was ecstatic, and I ran up to my terrace, shirtless to bathe in the rain. There was a bit of lightning. I stayed there for about a minute. Then, I went back to my room, put on a shirt and went outside.
There is a garden near my home. I have spent endless hours of my time there dreaming, thinking and reminiscing. It is where I sat when I bunked college for weeks and when I had time to be alone. It is a sloping garden, with the greenest grass I have ever seen. There are lots of plants, mostly untamed. The shrubbery is wild. There is a corner in the garden, hidden from most people, where I sit. For the past 2 years, this garden has been more than a home to me. For, it is there, among the flowers and trees and grass that I have found extraordinary solace and a great amount of peace. There is a soothing something there that makes me feel all nice and calm. But along with this peace, I also feel a certain sense of adventure whenever I go there…
I have a desire to do something, and my thoughts and emotions touch heights they have never touched before. Today, everything there, was wet.
The grass, the flowers, the trees and my corner. It had all been touched by the rain. The birds which lived there had been touched by the rain. I had been touched by the rain. And I felt peaceful, calm and one with the surroundings around me. I mean this not in a spiritual manner, but rather that I was entirely aware of my existence, as well as that of the world around me. It was insanely alive. The sky was blue and there was a sort of faint light all around. There were no people, and I was alone in the rain. There were cars and buildings nearby.
The rain continued to fall.
I stood at one place for some time. The birds were all calling out, and there was utter silence otherwise. There are two temples near the garden, and both were silent. It felt very beautiful.
Walking in the rain has always been something of a ritual with me. If I can’t do it, I feel miserable.
I am an Atheist and do not believe in religion.
I do believe in my own faculty of reason and logic.
Still, there have always been things which I do in a ritualistic, almost religious manner.
Walking in the rain is one of them.
There are many other idiosyncrasies in me, but they are not very apparent as such.
What I do believe, is that these idiosyncrasies, be they small or large, distinguish one person from another. They also, in some way, shape a person’s moral character. It does, so, at least in my case, I suppose. I have only a very small idea and I prefer it that way. It makes me less open to examination.
But, I was talking about the rain…
The rains always affect me greatly. They make me feel intensely alive and free. The rains have always made me aware of existence, and made me proud of the fact that I exist. They also instill a deep something in me. I can’t exactly describe it. They sort of make me understand how precious and beautiful life is…
They make me realize what existence is all about…
Existence is all about having the time of your life, with no regards to the consequences. Existence is all about following the dream that you have wanted to.
Existence is all about disregarding the limits to anything and going for what you want, because you want it.
What existence is not about is staying hidden from yourself, keeping everything closed down from your own mind…
Stifling your desires, thoughts and emotions just because of the opinion of other people…
Think back a bit. When you were 3 or maybe 5 years old, remember what you were…
Did you ever think that life will be as it is today?
That you’d have to take sides in wars you don’t want to fight?
That you’d have to choose between ‘good and evil’ based on pre-conceptions created by other people?
That you must make stupid choices which will end your happiness, just to please a bitter society that says it cares?
That you have to dress right and look right and need to have opinions that are stale and derived for acceptance?
That friends are meant to betray and that betrayal is in human nature?
That everything that is not part of the mainstream, is wrong?
That to be accepted as a person, you have to become a robot?
That everything you like is wrong, and that one can only learn what is right and wrong after one has faced it?
That the world is cruel and heartless, and that the only emotions which exist are sadness, frustration and cruelty?
That all goodness is dead, and if someone tries to be good, they don’t mean it?
That envy is a state of mind?
That the color of your skin, the religion you follow, the god you worship, the country you’re from, all of it, will finally decide what kind of a person you are?
I don’t think that anybody could ever have felt that way, at least at that age. But somewhere along the line, almost all of us have gone through the above. And there is hardly any chance, that one of us can, being entirely truthful, say he or she hasn’t…
The point here is this, that how many times, how we felt that way in our lives?
Felt entirely innocent and have faced life as we did when we were children?
Without any fear, any malice, any guilt?
Have we ever recaptured that feeling in ourselves, again?
Maybe we have…
I feel that way after walking in the rain. I feel free of all pain and proud of the fact that I am as I am. I feel that there is no need to put up a front and that there is no need for pain. It is like rebirth, along with lessons from all the experiences I’ve had. It reassures me, that the world is beautiful, and so am I. Life becomes pure and meaningful.
Walking in the rain, makes me fall in love…
posted by FlowerPowerBoi @ 9:06 PM
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